What is your favorite word? Awesome.
What is your least favorite word? Perfect.
What turns you on? Writing, rain, and food.
What turns you off? Cicadas, because they like to chase me once I’m in their eyeline. It’s as if they have a personal vendetta against me I don’t know about.
What sound or noise do you love? Deep, male noises. Like yours, for example, Mr. Lipton.
What sound or noise do you hate? Thunder, because it rattles me to the core and I can’t control the volume.
What is your favorite curse word? Quim, which is a more Shakespearean-style way of saying ‘c-u-next-tuesday’.
What profession would you like to attempt? Having sex with men who look and sounds like some of the most beautiful British actors on the planet and recite Shakespeare to me throughout, while getting paid for it.
What profession would you not like to attempt? Anything to do with the deceased, especially if the deceased are those close to me or children.
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? There’s plenty of fast food restaurants up here, and all the hard cider for you to drink.