Originally posted on Tipsy Lit:
- Listen, I don’t want to make fake food with you on the Internet. I hardly want to make real food in real life. I really just want someone to make the food and then feed me while brushing my hair and telling me I have the skin tone to pull off vermillion. But who doesn’t want to live the American Dream?
- Pictures of yourself in different outfits doesn’t do it for me. Pictures of you tricking Dave Coulier into believing you think he’s funny would.
- Wait…what was that? You had a baby?? I must have missed the memo. Oh no wait. There it is. Everywhere.
- I have this weird thing where letters have to spell real words and numbers can’t replace letters. I know. I’m looking into it.
- Hi mom. Fancy meeting you on the one place you never existed before.
- Shouting your political stances at…
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