Lane Bryant, what the hell?

Julianne Q Johnson

At some point in the not so distant future, I’m taking a trip with my sweetie out west. During said trip, we will be spending time with his lovely family, and going out to eat at a nice restaurant. Since I am a vagina owner, I thought that this would be a great excuse…er…perfect time to buy a new dress.

My heart filled with song and I joyfully began my search on both the internet and brick and mortar stores to look for a lovely dress, not too fancy, because it’s a nice dinner not a wedding.

By day three this was my face:

Behold my mad paint skills. Behold my mad paint skills.

They have beaten me down and ripped the song from my heart. I’m a big girl. Not gigantic. Mostly I wear a size 18, though that means little in the days of vanity sizing where I can fit into anything…

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