This was originally posted on my Tumblr; due to constant re-blogging, it’s one of many in-depth text posts lost in the fray. My WordPress has become a great place to put any serious or thoughtful posts that I publish on Tumblr and suffer the same fate.
As for the content, it’s based on what I’ve been seeing on my dash over the past weekend, concerning Black men and why they feel the need to disrespect or make their disdain for dark-skinned women known through social media. In lieu of the slaying of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, this post has been scheduled to be published today, for the atmosphere among the Black social media community is/has been ablaze with news, opinions, and emotions related to the tragedy.
Have you ever, at one point, saw a person or group, saw how much fun they were having, and wanted to be a part of it? As a result, were you willing to do anything to be a part of that fun, to fit in?
There’s the most popular person/group at school, let’s say, and they’ve let you into their inner circle, yet they make efforts to put down others they consider ‘beneath them’. What would you do to fit in? Not all people in this situation surrender and conform to doing the same thing, but there are people who are willing to put others down to impress the ‘cool kids’. How do you think those ‘cool kids’ got their status in the first place?
Many times, it starts at home, and what better way to impress your family than to do as they expect of you, all because they’ve been poisoned with self-hatred.
When it comes to Black men hating on dark-skinned women, this ‘calling out’ on their part is really their attempt to impress others around them. They’ve been told dark-skinned women aren’t attractive, whether outright, through lack of representation through the media, subtleties from friends or family, or individual experiences they have had with women who happen to be dark-skinned.
It’s one thing to have a preference, but it’s cruel and unusual punishment when you make it a thing to further remind us that we’re not wanted or lovable, solely based on the hue of our skin. It wouldn’t do much to remind many of these men that they share genetics with dark-skinned women, because those women don’t count when it comes to those they want to spend the rest of their lives and/or start a family with.
Not only is it self-hatred, but it’s also the struggle to survive in a society they don’t fit in.There’s always the need to assimilate, conform, especially when you don’t share the same privilege as those you’re trying to affiliate with.
And when you do that at the expense of others — in this case, dark-skinned women — you’re not only disrespecting us as human beings, but you’re doing yourself and fellow Black men a disservice. You will ALWAYS be a Black man, ALWAYS be seen as a threat, ALWAYS be seen as a disposable Black body, ALWAYS be treated as anything except a human being. You Black men KNOW what dark-skinned women go through, whether it’s family, friends, work, strangers, etc. Yet you continue to contribute to the struggle…
I’m sure I’ll have more to say on this later, but I’m seeing so much of this matter on my dash[board], and it’s disheartening seeing it come from my own people, specifically Black men.