I just saw a message someone published in a Google+ community I’m in, and it’s spreading the word about a magazine this new member was creating with a friend, and their crowdsourcing plan to turn their newsletter into an independent magazine with physical copies. Now I’m reading the post and thinking, “Oh, how cool! This would be a wonderful opportunity to not only support independent media, but possibly contribute in my own way!”

So I scroll down to find three photos, two of them women and one being the logo for the magazine. “Oh, how cool! A magazine about art and lifestyle and stuff!” I also saw these women were white, which is not really what I have a problem with.

In fact, I have no problem with it, but I’m not sure I could relate to them or their potential demographic if the only thing we can relate to is being creative women. Yes, there are several outlets to connect to other creative Black women, but it’d be wonderful if there were numerous, visible magazines from Black women aside from what we see on the newsstands.

It also gave me the idea to possibly start a newsletter/online quarter- or bi-annual magazine of my own, yet I already utilize various outlets with my own blogging brand. Sounds weird to call it a brand, but it sort of is one spread across platforms.

I’ve got Tumblr, Twitter, YouTube (though I no longer use it for vlogs), Ello, LiveJournal (which I rarely use), here on WP, and now on Pinterest. There may be others I’ve forgotten and haven’t mentioned, but I’ll probably remember them once I’m done typing this out.

But now that I think about it, why am I becoming so wasteful with social media? What am I trying to protect? I mean, it’s not like I have a domain name (no, really, I don’t have a domain name) nor do I have anything to prove of myself other than I have a lot to say and do that through writing.

And it’s a bunch of senseless whining, anyway…

However, it’s a comfort to know I’ve got something to call my own. Not gonna lie, it felt good when I started my Pinterest account and found I could use ‘dederants’ as my URL. To think someone else hadn’t thought to use it.

I’m sure someone on another platform is using the username, but I hold possession of it on several platforms. Yet I think the main reason I like the exclusivity of it being mine is because it’s relevant, it stays true to what I’m about. My name is Deannah, DeDe for short. Usually introduce myself to new people with it because people see my name and mispronounce it. And I know I needn’t hold a grudge over it, but it’s a bit annoying to constantly have to correct someone.

Also, I rant. I rant to myself. I rant to my friends. My tweet can be ranty, as well as my Tumblr and this WP. Sometimes, an original character’s dialogue can get ranty if I’m in that frame of mind at that moment. I’ve got  lot on my mind, and immediate folks around me pretend not to hear me when they don’t want to, so I waste my breath on social media or keep my thoughts to myself and/or my trusty notebook, which I know no one will read anyway LOL.

Come to think of it, I don’t need a magazine. I just need to make more of an effort to write my thoughts down. I find myself RT’ing or reblogging someone else’s thoughts, for the person saying them does so more articulately than I can. And when I do it — be articulate with my words, I mean — it’s on explicitly rare condition. I have to take time to sit with myself and think, without distraction(s) getting in the way. That can be annoying when I hear something happening on one of my favorite podcasts and my attention span to my thoughts wanes.

Yes, I do have moments of clarity, and I write them down here and there. But when i write something and my thoughts are garbled, I worry someone will misunderstand or be concerned with sentence structure and what I’m trying to say, the latter mores than the former. But the moments of clarity are ones I cherish, where I can settle and be comfy in my thoughts.

What the hell kind of tangent did I just go on? One minute, I was inspired to start a newsletter/magazine, the next I’m going on about ownership of my URL and my thoughts.

And did I really mention that my URL was a brand? Good lord, I am WAY ahead of myself.

But maybe I need to be. Maybe I need to think about what I could be doing, what the future can bring. Yet I’m no fortune teller, so fuck if I know. All I can do is keep thinking, keep myself updated on current events and the news, keep writing, keep my head in the clouds (where it usually is much of the time, anyway!).

In the meantime, I’d like to thank those of you who’ve followed me here — and possibly on Twitter — and putting up with these messy posts I couldn’t be bothered to actually revise/proofread before clicking “Publish”. Your follows, likes, and comments are much appreciated, and bring about lively, much-needed discussions.

Love y’all,
Deannah AKA DeDeRants 🙂


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